yes. 1/4 to 5am. and i'm up.
it's a tuesday tmr, and i dont want to get up early. or go out and get home late. i might be out, have waffles with rachel and dan and shafiq if he wants to. i'm very very out of cash at the moment. and i'm planning not to let raye down this 2wks. planning to. i'm only gonna go dry cause i'll be spending on fags than more important things.

the thing about being human is that you really wanna try and get, what you know, you can NEVER have. it's funny, but it's only human. you may react "nah, i'm not like that." haha. think again, but harder this time. it's okay to feel this way, it happens. yeah, stupid it is. but whats the drive, and where is it, when you know you can have it and you try like you cant. it's natural to get yourslf hurt and bring yourslf down because youre already there but you keep yourslf to hang between the go and let go. like the amber between the green and red. but amber turns to red anyway and never to green which says go, to the right ones and means stop to the other. the other only has green or red. i wanna stay amber, but when it turns red. i know what shit i got myslf into. and now. i wanna get on the bed and watching the ceiling as the sunrises.

tmr,
i want to learn to stop saying
things i dont mean. and i want to stop
being a helpless romantic. hopeless.